The Case For the Democratic Party

Friends:

First of all, hello. And thank you for taking the time to read this statement.  I know most of you have a pretty good idea of where you stand. If you consider yourself to be a conservative or a Republican, you most likely feel that identification strongly, and I respect that. I'm not writing to win an argument with you.  Consider this a respectful request for a moment of your time.

Abraham Lincoln described America's goal as "to afford all an unfettered start, and a fair chance in the race of life". Franklin Delano Roosevelt believed our goal to be "freedom from want...freedom from fear".  The reason I mention the words of these two great Presidents is because I think each represents one end of a spectrum on which most of us sit.  Abraham Lincoln's ideal was a society that produced equal opportunity. Franklin Roosevelt championed a society that emphasized equal outcome.  These are very different ideals, and they are very much in tension. But as your friend, my hunch is that most of you would agree with one of these two statements. If you agree with neither, you should stop reading here.

However, if your feelings about our country sit anywhere between these two distinct ideals, I humbly request you consider the possibility that you are a Democrat.

I represent to you that we are neither a liberal party or a conservative party. In fact, mostly what we seem to be is a group of people having a vigorous debate about who was right, Lincoln or Roosevelt. But we all agree on one thing---that whichever vision you choose, no one human being can accomplish it alone.   That's why we're such a big tent. We have no need for litmus tests, and we don't excommunicate people, because we know that's no way to achieve anything.  We know we need everyone's help, whether we agree with them or not, to make life better in America.

That's about all there is to it. That's what we are about. That's what we stand for.  I'm not going to spill ink about other parties, because enough ink has already been spilled. 

I only ask you, if you believe you fit somewhere on this spectrum, to ask yourself which party genuinely wants our society to achieve either of these goals. If either of these goals are something you want, please consider your answer carefully as you make your choice on election day.  

Thank you for your time. 

Open Letter to a Christian (unless)

Greetings and happy Easter:

I write to inform you that my family and I received the greeting card you sent us wishing us a happy Easter. Incidentally (coincidentally?) it arrived on the first night of Passover, a very important holiday to us.

Your message to my family was as follows:

                    Enjoy this glorious season of His love!
                    May the wonderful victory of Easter
                    Be with you  
                    Each day of the year.
                    Have a Beautiful Easter!

I note that you signed your children's names to the bottom, along with your own.

There is nothing wrong with this message, in and of itself. Had you sent it to a family that actually celebrates Easter, it would be a fine and glad tiding.

But your decision to send it to us was wrong. Very wrong. And you know why.

You know we are Jews. You know our children are Jews. You know that our family prays to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and to that God only. You know that we do not celebrate Easter. You know that we have no wish to have an Easter, beautiful or otherwise.

You may also be aware that Easter has historically not been a very pleasant day for Jewish people.  Not too long ago, Jewish people were made to attend compulsory church services in which we were hounded and vilified for not accepting Jesus Christ as our God. Only decades ago, Easter was a popular day for Christians to actually, physically, assault Jews in broad daylight, inspired by the prayers they heard at the Easter services in their Churches.

Happily for us, the means have changed. Sadly, your goal has not. I am aware that you still believe that our faith is unacceptable. I am aware that you are told, by your pastors, that our very existence as practicing Jews is unacceptable. I know it is your life's goal and your heart's delight to turn me into a Christian; or short of that, turn my children toward your faith and against our family and tradition.  I have a hunch that this is precisely the reason why you sent this card.

But you are wrong to do it. Your faith in the rightness of your action is wrong, no matter how sincerely you feel it. Your pastors are wrong to tell you to do it. It is not a message of love, it is a message of hate.  It is not a message of inclusion, it is a message of bigotry. When you send messages like this to Jewish people, you are essentially telling us that you refuse to be Christian unless we stop being Jewish.  You are asking us to believe that Jesus Christ, who loves us all so much, and commands you to love us as your brethren, wants us to turn our backs on our own covenant--one that we have faithfully pursued, often at great risk, sometimes at the expense of life itself. You are asking us to disrespect our families and our ancestors, to devalue the sacrifices they made to keep our culture and religion alive, to say that it was all for nothing. And worst of all, you ask us to forsake our faith, which we hold as sincerely as you hold yours-Jesus Christ himself would not send us a message like this.  As a Jew who sacrificed his life for the sake of other Jews, he would never ask us to so dishonor our ancestors, who made equal or greater sacrifices, often at the instigation of your church.

Ask yourself something. Your Church has been at this for over 2000 years; trying to convert all of the Jews to Christianity. In that time, it has managed to kill a lot of Jews, but it has not converted very many. Your efforts have been frightening, grotesque, violent and insulting--but one thing they have not been is persuasive. A few data points.

                   --It is now the year 2012 of the Common Era

                   --There are around 13 million of us, all over the world, and most of us are thriving

                  --We have regained the State of Israel, and it, for all of its political problems, is an economic
                     powerhouse and global leader in technology

                 --We are honored the world over for our achievements in government, philanthropy, science,
                    technology and every other conceivable human endeavor

                --Many Christians (I would argue the real ones) have come to accept us, just as we are

Is this the description of a people accursed by God? Could we have done all of this, for two millennia straight, notwithstanding the obstacles Christians put in front of us, if God did not love us?  Would we still be here today, celebrating Passover alongside you celebrating Easter, if God did not want us around?  You were not able to convince us with threats or violence.  Do you honestly think you will now succeed with Hallmark cards?

Your efforts have been a failure, because your quest is wrong. The road you are going down is a dead end. It is a rutted and ugly track that can offer you nothing other than a bitter journey, and you will not be satisfied at the end.

Because there will be Jewish people two thousand years from now, just as there were two thousand years ago. Your descendants, having inherited your distasteful legacy will still be angry and distressed that we have not changed. But there we will be.

With that in mind, and in the generous and loving spirit of Jesus Christ, I would like to offer you an alternative.  Love us. Love us as we are. Love us as Jesus would.  He does not have to be a wall that separates us--Jesus can be a bridge that unites us.  We both honor Him, you as a deity, we as a heroic leader of our people who tried, and sadly failed, to liberate our ancestors from Roman oppression. We mean you no harm, and we wish you no ill.  Christianity has accomplished a great deal of good in this world, and many Christians today are engaged in the most constructive activities imaginable, from feeding the hungry, to curing disease, to aiding and comforting those in need. We admire these efforts and support them entirely. Let us all honor Jesus Christ by uniting around those attributes of him that we all admire, and work together to repair this world. We have no desire to change you. If you accept us, think of all the good we can accomplish.

Of course, you could continue on your current path. But know this: You will fail.  There have been Jewish people for five thousand years, and there will be Jewish people in five thousand years.  We are fully prepared to wait you out, and we will thwart your present efforts at every turn. We are prepared to keep our covenant and hand it down to our children and our children's children, even if it costs us our lives.  We have proven this time and again. Count on it.

Because no matter what you say, and no matter what they tell you in your Church, God loves us--and he loves us as much as he loves you, and for this reason, the road you are on will not lead you to salvation in this world, or the next.

You can make the decision to change, but ultimately, it is up to you, and the consequences will be yours to live with.

Think it over.

Blessings.

Unpopular

For much of my childhood, I was unpopular. The reasons for this need not be analyzed; those readers who know me know the details of my childhood all too well, and those who do not know me need not be bored with those details. Suffice it to say that, for a variety of reasons, none of them good, I was, during my first 18 years excluded from activities, ostracized by my peers, and ridiculed for various "deficiencies" large and small. However, I would not trade my experience for any other, and I have no significant regrets. Let me tell you why.

Although I did not understand this then, during the entire time of those first eighteen years, I had intrinsic value as a human being; just like everyone else. Regardless of how I talked, dressed or behaved, regardless of my interests or what I cared about, regardless of whether I was good at sports or "athletically demented" as one quite eloquent "popular" kid once put it, I was a person. I mattered. No one, no matter what they did had the right or ability to make that untrue. That my worth was devalued was no failing on my part; rather, it emanated from the greed and cynicism of some peers, and the indifference of others, and some teachers. My bad experiences were caused by bad actors, bad policies, and failures of leadership. While these problems, which still plague too many childhoods, can and should be corrected, that they were not soon enough does not reflect poorly on me.

On the other hand, my conduct in my childhood reflects well on me, because in the qualities over which I actually had agency, which made up my true character, there was much to admire :

--I was honest

--I was fair

--I was kind

--I was ethical

--I was curious

--I was productive

--I was respectful

--I was friendly

--I was loving

--I took risks

In short, I had no control over whether I was "popular." It was for want of nothing intrinsic. Devaluing me with was just a cynical tactic that people with less to offer used to conceal their own deficiencies. But in everything that mattered; everything that was in my control, every core element of my being, I excelled. And I did what was required of me at the time with determination, perseverance, and dignity even in the face of exclusion and sometimes outright scorn. I was courageous--I got up every day, went to a place where people ridiculed and ostricized me constantly, -- and got the education to which I was entitled, and which was my duty to obtain. There was nothing not to like about me, and everything to admire. On the flip side, the "popular" kids, in order to achieve their popularity often had to resort to being everything I was not. Today I sometimes wonder how these individuals face that reality (assuming they ever achieved the self awareness and genuine honesty to grasp it).

Ironically, my intrinsic qualities, whatever their impact on my reception by my childhood peers, have made all the difference to my success as an adult. I attribute to them much of my success, both in my professional and in my social life. My wife loves me in spite of or perhaps because of, the fact that I didn't play football, smoke dope out back, or get laid, and I'm a good lawyer because I am kind of nerdy and, frankly, thinking and acting outside the crowd is precisely what genuine success in this world takes.

I was unpopular, to be certain. But I'm proud of the person I was, because I'm proud of the person I am. As I sit here today, I the people I feel sorriest for are the popular ones, especially, that subclass that decided I was "unpopular" and labored with such alacrity to make me unpopular. In addition to having to live with knowing, as adults, that they behaved in ways that demeaned them far more than their behavior demeaned me, many of them are now largely irrelevant; by dint of the qualities they possessed and developed in order to be "popular". I on the other hand, get to bend the arc of the universe every single day, and I can sleep at night knowing I earned my success, and did so at no one else's expense.

Bobby Takes Poop--National Crisis Averted

New York, NY-April 25, 2010

AP-As Americans from coast to coast sat on tenderhooks today, Robert Gerstein finally moved his bowels, putting a 48 hour ordeal finally to an end.

The elimination, which was average sized, emerged at 9:35 PM, Eastern Standard Time. Robert is now clean, and in good spirits, but heated discussions among the nation's leaders continue.

The crisis, which began at approximately 7:00 am on the morning of April 24th has provoked a special investigation by the United States House Energy Subcommittee on Health. The Committee will begin holding hearings at 8:00am tomorrow morning. In a press conference earlier today, Committee Chairman, Congressman Frank Pallone of New Jersey promised to get to the "root causes of the controversy. We have a lot of questions," said the Congressman "and frankly, some of the people involved may have a lot to answer for. The people need answers, and we need to get to the root causes. America's kids shouldn't have to spend a moment longer than necessary on the can."

Among issues the Congressman cited for investigation was the controversial decision to feed Robert rice cereal, which some experts say should not be introduced until at least six months. U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebilius also expressed concern. "I'm glad the prunes worked," said the Secretary when asked about corrective measures that had been taken to finally move things along, "but really, breast milk or formula is all they should be getting at that age." Sebilius has promised that her department will be launching its own, independent investigation in the near future.

Meanwhile, an angry Tea Party protest on the National Mall nearly turned into a riot as activists slammed the government, insisting that Federal activity was the cause of Robert's constipation. "Those Commies definitely put something in the water!" Shouted Moe Briggs of Altoona, PA. "This never happened when Bush was President! Just shove a thermometer up his butt." Protesters also waved signs saying "My kid crapped when he was s'pos'd to! Why can't yours?" and "Prunes are for liberals and red socalists." Not to be outdone, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele promised to make Robert's bowel movements a divisive issue in the 2010 congressional elections.

President Obama had earlier today Federalized the New Jersey Air National Guard and scrambled F-16 Fighters from the 177th Fighter Wing, but they have since been recalled as the emergency has passed.

Republcians See RHG Birth As "Game Changer" in Health Care Fight

New York, NY (AP)-

Two Leading Republicans have hailed the birth of Robert Harold Gerstein, which occurred earlier this week, as giving their party a significant edge in the health care debate before the U.S. Senate.

Senate Minority Leader John Boehner praised the event as a "game changer".

"I don't see how you can look at the outstanding health care he received and not conclude how ludicrous and unnecessary this proposed legislation is. Bobby Gerstein's birth clearly proves, once and for all, that privately funded health insurance is alive, well and working for the majority of Americans."

The birth also attracted applause from former Alaska Governor and Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin. "If private health care is good enough for socialist countries like New York," said Palin "it should be good enough for America."

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid warned his Republican Senate colleagues to temper their optimism, however. "I have it on good authority that Bobby strongly supports this bill," stated Reid. "He wants this legislation because he knows how critical it is for America's future, and we are going to pass it for him."

General Stanley McChrystal, Commander of all U.S. forces in Afghanistan, welcomed Gerstein's birth for reasons unrelated to the healthcare debate. "He's a great little ranger, and I can't wait to serve alongside him in my Army, " said McChrystal.

U.N. Secretary General Hails RHG Birth

New York NY (AP)--In a brief press conference this morning, United Nations Secretary-General Ban Kai-moon offered congratulations to Theresa and Ephraim Gerstein on the birth of their son, Robert Harold Gerstein. The Secretary-General hailed the birth as a "stupendous event."

"We expect great things from Bobby, " declared the Secretary General, "the whole world is watching, and will continue watching. This is change we can count on!"

Gerstein was born on December 1, 2009 at 11:35 pm, at New York Presbyterian Hospital, in New York City.

Adidas to Sponsor Ephraim

New York-June 8, 2009

Erich Stamminger, Adidas brand CEO unveiled a new sponsorship agreement with Ephraim Gerstein, in a press conference at Rockefeller Center earlier this morning. The partnership is believed to be the first in history to feature a relatively unknown private citizen, rather than a professional athlete or celebrity. Adidas did not reveal the endorsement fees paid to Gerstein at press time. The optimistic Stamminger appeared relaxed and enthusiastic to begin what many commentators believe to be an audacious marketing strategy.  "To us, it was a no-brainer," declared Stamminger.  "The Adidas brand stands for quality, understated style, and a tradition of overall excellence, so it was natural to want to partner with an individual who lives those values. [Gerstein's] relative anonymity might pose something of a marketing challenge, but Adidas could not pass up the opportunity to deliver such a fresh, compelling message."

CNBC commentator Phil LeBeau believes the unconventional deal holds promise for Adidas.  "It's certainly a new way of doing things," said LeBeau "but I believe that this is a leading indicator that we are entering a post-celebrity era.  It may be that many consumers will relate better to Ephraim than they would to a celebrity.  After all, most consumers are not famous.  I think Adidas is betting that a young, upscale target audience would look at Ephraim and say 'here's a guy just like me, someone I can trust.' He's wholesome. Trendy, but not excessively so. Someone you could aspire to be, but within reach."

Though Adidas kept most of the deal's details under wraps, Stamminger said that Gerstein will not have to throw away his Chuck Taylors. "We don't consider those to be a competing product," said Stamminger.